Colour me blue, black, white and befuddled. Have not wished to wade into the very polarizing arguments concerning the purported demise of the current Eesti Maja and the advantages that the proposed Eesti Keskus may provide our community. Partially this is due to the fact that although I am not a Torontonian, my use and perspective of the EM is different from those community members attached to the building from lasteaed, skaudid through to rahvatants and beyond. All the while being a member of the Ühispank as well.

And it is important to note at the outset that I was raised to respect our community elders. That did not necessarily mean agreement. But open and frank discourse throughout my working life produced many more positive results than negative ones. Taught to volunteer, and not to expect personal gain. It was for the polity. You cannot teach the value of this – as the Ontario school boards expect to foster by insisting on “volunteer hours” in order to graduate from high school. Thus ensuring a life-long admiration for those who do give their time and skills in a volunteer capacity, year after year. Hence the following.

It so happened that I was in Toronto at the time of the March 14 EM/EK community meeting and was curious. So I attended the meeting, perhaps illegally, as I am not a shareholder. But an Estonian should not be barred from such a meeting. That day happened to be emakeelepäev. My Estonian is rusty. I use it infrequently now because my parents are deceased, those Estonian friends that remain often choose to speak English – or a mixture of the two. Still, it was startling, on a day that was dedicated to my emakeel, that came to me at my mothers breast, that business was conducted solely in English at the meeting. Made this old goat wonder, what language will be spoken at the EK? If we are trying to salvage our culture, establish a cultural bastion for the next generations, should we not at least try to speak the language at official meetings?

I realize that over 70 years have passed since our parents or grandparents risked their lives and fled communist terror in small boats and ships in stormy seas avoiding both Soviet and German hostile warships and airplanes. It is natural to switch to the language of the country of residence. Yet all those people that worked so hard to find, fund the purchase and build on to the Chester Hill Schoolhouse would be dismayed.

(And all that free talgu labour. Now the 4 orgs are hiring consultants, no estimate as to how much they will cost in the long run. Why has our society has evolved from talgud to the orgs flogging naming rights? It reminds one of the sale of indulgences way back. Wow, our parents must be turning over in their graves! Where did they go wrong nurturing eestlus in the next generation?)

For me, ESTO 1972, the highwater mark of our refugee society as it then was, is an amazing memory. The same goes for the following ESTOs in 1984 and 2000. Thrice Estonians abroad proved by sheer numbers that Toronto is the capital of Estonia away from home. However, some unfortunate habits have been picked up. I refer to the frequent vitriol on these pages, clearly indicating that there is a considerable division in our now ex-patriate polity. Why the hate and venom? Are some really any different from the kaikamehed of yore?

Also, it would behoove all participating in the process to be open and transparent. Here I cannot help but refer to what I gather from the articles posted at EWR. It strikes a non-Torontonian that the EM board is hiding something. Or in any case is not being completely open and transparent. How else to perceive the departure of two respected board members, and the failure to invite the democratically supprted by vote next two candidates to take their chairs at the board meetings? Many of us realize that the EM/EK issue may be a fait accompli. But healthy discussion and openness is a key to a strong, united community. Opposition breeds explanation. Good solutions often rise from adversity, clearing the waters. An opportunity to cement unity isneedlessly being squandered.

As I understand from the pro and con arguments posted on this portal the zoning permission issue is far from certain – both for the prospective buyers of EM, and the Madison site. It seems so unlike our Estonian approach of prudence, measuring seven times before cutting the cloth or sawing the board. It is counting the chickens before they hatch. The haste that this project has taken on is unseemly, especially as it seems transparency and intent is not being delivered.

My recent visits, spaced over some years to the EM have not shown a dilapidated, down at the heels building. The letter earlier this year from the building specialists – architect, engineers, from the older generation also seems to bolster the case. Thus. What is the rush? Better management would garner income. People like myself did go to the kohvik and kauplus. It would be counterintuitive to sell an existing and functioning, but apparently mismanaged building for a glass castle in the sky, perhaps not having adequate space for koondused, lasteaed, eesti kool, never mind – and this is a given - lasketiir.

The underhanded callous way that the eStore was closed finally triggered the above. It is from someone who has enjoyed using the facilities of EM over the decades and has serious concerns about the future of our community. It is about respect, openness. We do not need to agree, but the treatment of users of EM – shareholders or not, we are Estonians! – has been less than exemplary. I would like to be proven wrong in my fears, but things seem to be headed in the wrong direction.

I am now too old to get involved and it is too far to drive to contribute regularly, but maybe these words will effect some change in how the community is informed about future plans.

Kuuleme, näeme.

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